Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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