even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
