I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
