I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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