id be glad to
it hurts more in the daytime
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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