I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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