I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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