MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
