oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
