Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
