i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
