dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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