Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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