I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize