im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
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