it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Randomize
