How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
