there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
