I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
