Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
