Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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