Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize