READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
