You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
