Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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