I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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