I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
