You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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