people are starting to question the shark bite story
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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