i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
he fucked my hip out of place.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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