I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Randomize
