I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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