i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize