That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Church boner. Awkwardddd
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
