Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize