if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
