Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
