Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
