Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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