I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
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