I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
