I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
