Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
