my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize