I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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