About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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