you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
