I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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