well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize