He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Let's get the cat blown out
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize