So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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