There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
