After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We need a shit load of segways right now
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
