nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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