Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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