how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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