I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Randomize
