Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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