hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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