I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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