I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
