Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize