every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
