They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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