it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
