he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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