i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
