you guys were way drunker than both of me
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
