The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize