I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize