I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
