I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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