I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
