Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
