Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
birth control should be required to get into college
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
