Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
