You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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