I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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