I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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