i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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